Important question about MCU Spider-Man

Okay so this has been bothering me for a few days now. In Captain America: Civil War, Peter tells Tony that "When you can do the things I can, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you" What exactly did he mean by that? Was it about Uncle Ben? Because in Spider-Man: Homecoming, Peter tells Ned that he can't tell May that he's Spider-Man "May can not know, I can not do that to her right now, with everything that has happened to her" What happened to her? Is it about Uncle Ben? I really need someone to clear this up!

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